Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So many bounce houses so little time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
