so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
