Tell her she can't have a vagina
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize