woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
