I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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