you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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