I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize