You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
