he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
