There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
