THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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