are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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