Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
