the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
