I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
