So drunk its hurt
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
