he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
