It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
