He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
