**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
