remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize