after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
