Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize