Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
