she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
