i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
