I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
