dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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