Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my shit smells like andre
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
