how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
