are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
