i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
