help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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