you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
