he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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