I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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