how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
In America we eat man semen.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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