No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
