My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She told me I should be a condom model.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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