So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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