Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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