Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
