Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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