i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't turn off my feet"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
