So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
