guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize