im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
