so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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