we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
