I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
