Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
