he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
