Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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