She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
