i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
