He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
