ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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