But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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