Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
