Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize