it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
