Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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