How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
