You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
