if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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