it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
