I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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