Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize