Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
