I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
