Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
