I heard we made out
I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
